Snakes have traditionally gotten a pretty bad rap from us humans. They are easily the most feared and reviled species around, except for perhaps sharks and The Jacksons. Nowhere is this more evident than in the various snake-based characters depicted in music, literature, films, television and religion. Need an instant badass for your movie or show? Just add snake! Instant villainy! Of course, most of these villains spend most of their existence getting creamed by the so-called good guys. But some of them manage to have a little fun and wreak a little havoc first.
So in honor of our misunderstood belly crawling friends, Attack of the 15.24 Meter Blog! presents the Top 9 Snakes of All-Time. Why nine? Because I’m too lazy to come up with ten, that’s why.
Tung Lashor (left) about to be scolded yet again by Skeletor.
Coily prepares to lay the smackdown on Q*Bert.
Apep gets bushwhacked by a killer Egyptian rabbit.
Mr. Coffee Pot can only look on in horror at the evil of the dangling cord.
"Be honest. Did I go overboard with the snake motif on my costume?"
I’ll admit it - I HATED Serpentor when he first arrived on the scene. In my mind, Cobra Commander was the ultimate Cobra badass, and I wanted nothing to do with any other so-called Cobra leader. It was like finding out that Darth Vader was really just Emperor Palpatine’s puppet. In time, I grew to accept Serpentor, mostly because I had no choice after Cobra Commander was offed in the GI Joe Movie. But hey, anybody who gets to ride around in a personal hover-chariot can’t be all bad.
Not even a blast of radiation from behind can stop Cobra Commander!!!
Thulsa Doom had it all. Not only was he the unquestioned ruler of the land, he was a hit with the ladies. When you have so many nubile women available to you that you can get rid of some of them in ritual sacrifices, you are doing something right. Befitting Doom’s status as the supreme serpentine baddy, he was portrayed in the movie by none other than James Earl Jones. Doom’s favorite pastime was attending orgies at his palace, although he seemed to be more of a voyeur than a participator. And once he had his fill of the action, he simply transmogrified from the James Earl Jones form into that of a giant boa constrictor. Awesome. Only at the very end did Doom meet his match, when a misguided attempt to win Conan over to his side went horribly wrong and Doom’s head (sans body) went tumbling down the steps of his own palace.